


Jersey 27

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hockey, Anxiety, Awkward Crush, Connor is an artist too, Cynthia is so tired, Evan is a MC GOD, Hockey accidents, Injury, Jared is really bad at it, M/M, Mario carts, Medication, Photography, Pictures, Swearing, Therapy, Treebros, Trees, Vegan, artist!Connor, sleepy Connor, when he's not on the ice hes drawing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-02-08 05:32:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12857808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Evan hates crowed places, and he's only hear for the school newspaper total not to stare and gush at player 27Newspaper that is all.





	1. Hockey crush

**Author's Note:**

> Word count: 1062 Mmm hockey great (: hockey Au does not belong to me I got the idea from another fic I read

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1062 Mmm hockey great (: hockey Au does not belong to me I got the idea from another fic I read

Evan didn't like crowds  
They where big and scary and it felt like everyone had there eyes on you. He knew it was just his anxiety that made him itchy and uneasy in people infested areas and no one really cared about you, you were nothing special just another face in the swarm of people.

  
Evan understood this, the only place he'd go willingly was school (Which he didn't even think was true cause he more had to drag himself from bed to school then through the day) and the grocery store and that was only rarely when his mom came home late and forget to pick up the groceries even then anxiety picked at every corner of his brain, he never made eye contact small talk or smiled because of he did he'd probably pass out or puke or both

  
The crowd roared as another goal made its way through the goalies legs. Evan, sitting way at the back to avoid confrontation and being slightly shorter, stepped onto his chair to snap a photo with his camera for the school newspaper. He'd never come to a hockey game at least not if he didn't want to make a giant fool of himself by passing out in front of billions of people not to mention the floors are disgusting.

  
No no, he was here to capture every moment of the hockey teams home game that he was semi-forced to attend. Alana said she could do it, but Alana does too much for everyone she has to much on her plate and Evan is bad, _horrible_ at saying no

  
The Jersey of number 27 shoots by on the ice and Evan feels his face burn, he knows 27, that's Connor Murphy.

He pulls out his camera steps on his seat and

 

 _Snap_.

  
He'd keep that one for himself, not in a creepy way

 

27 passes to 36 who passed to 49 who passed back to 27 who scores the winning goal with only 7.2 seconds left, the crowd erupts with energy and passion the speakers blare and scream, he'll have a headache after this but right now he doesn't notice

  
Because he got a really nice picture

 

Evan doesn't really know Connor he talks to him sometimes but not enough to be called friends,acquaintances maybe but not 'friends' and he's never had a long time crush either but he does know that Connor and Alana share English class and love gives you a butterfly feeling in your gut and when Connor smiles his eyes light up slightly and Connor only smiles when he's drawing or painting his beautiful Works of art that he never let's anyone see or touch an love keeps you up at night because your thinking of an earth shattering smile and he doesn't like P.E so he spends his forth period in the back of the library in the corner re-reading le petite prince but the English translation.

  
Don't ask Evan how he know this he just does, he waits for Jared to pick him up from the stadium as he sits on the park bench going through the photos he took during the game his thoughts return to Murphy as he mindlessly slides his finger from right to left _Connor's smile is a rare_ _privilege and maybe that's why he's so infatuated by it_ even though Connor's smile was never and probably will never be directed at him, he likes to dream

Its mid October, the leaves are changing colour and it's Evan's favourite time to take photos, he pulls the camera over his eye, finger hovering over the button, ready to take a beautiful picture

_Snap_

  
"So, do you take pictures of trees for fun? Or..?"  
Evan jumps and he almost drops his camera good thing he had the strap tied around his wrist, a small shriek escapes his mouth and he panics, he slowly turns his head to meet a bleak pair of blue eyes

  
Fucking Connor Murphy

  
He swallows "N-no, I-I m-mean sometimes it's just t-the colours w-were very p-pretty" he stuttered out Connor doesn't say anything he just nods "I'm gonna sit here" He doesn't give Evan time to protest not that he would protest he seats himself rolling his left shoulder where he collided with another player on the ice and grimaces only slightly "Y-you were uh really g-good out there" Evan compliments looking down at his lap, his face was on fire

  
"Oh? Thanks" Silence falls over them Evan doesn't knows what to say next, he's not good with confrontation "Can I see?" Connor ask "W-what?" He freezes "See what?" The boy next to him extends his hand "Your pictures, what else?"

  
Connor says it like it was the most obvious thing in the world and it probably was "S-sure? I guess" he hands the camera to Murphy who starts scrolling. Evan keeps his eyes glued to the tree, his face is burning and Connor is so close, _too close_ he wipes his clammy hands on his jeans and resists the urge to bite his already gnawed of nails

  
The blonde boy turns back to the male beside him about to ask what he thinks before "Is this me?" asks the taller boy Evan freezes it was a harmless question Connor didn't even look mad just raised an eyebrow "I Uh i-it, well um m-maybe?"

  
he's going to throw up, definitely where's the damn trash?!

  
Connor just stares and shrugs "Why?" Evan wants to cry "S-school n-newspaper" He blinks "Oh" he pauses "I don't think people will want me in the newspaper but I don't fucking care" he hands the camera back "You're pretty good" he says "T-thanks?" He chokes out, Connor's not gonna kill him?

"Evan, right? I've seen you around" He nods "Connor, but I bet you already knew that" He did but he just nods again the brunette opens his mouth like he's about to say something else but stops and closes it again

Evan's phone rings, it must be Jared "I've uh g-got to go" he stands up awkwardly "I Uh I'll see you around?" It's more of a question, Connor just shrugs "Dunno" He swallows thickly the boy just stands up nods and walks away hands in his pockets. Evan keeps his eyes on Murphy's back for a while before tearing away

He wants to see him again


	2. Camera man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan prints his letter, touches Connor's hair an walks to English with Zoe Murphy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1,155 
> 
> Here it is! I'd like to thank PrinceAcidKitten, TrashyPan and Alphaboner for their kind comments! they helped me find motivation for the next chapter anyway let's go!

Monday comes to soon and Evan's not ready to go back to school, not yet but he gets up anyway because if he doesn't he won't be able to give the pictures to Alana, he could send them to her but Evan unlike Jared isn't a computer genius and isn't sure how to send pictures with his second-hand off brand computer.

  
So he carefully tucks his camera in the back pocket of his backpack after he throws on his signature blue Polo Shirt a sweat shirt and gets himself at least decently dressed for school he runs his hand down his left arm where his cast should be, it's been removed already so he no longer has to worry about it getting in the way.

  
He walks, it's not to far and the weather is still warm enough for a sweater or light jacket, he pats his pocket and checks to make sure he remembered to put in his Xanax, feeling slightly content when he feels the medication move under his fingertips. Evan takes a deep breath and checks the time on his phone, 8:00, Good

  
He needs to get to school early to print out his letter for his therapist and get ready for class before the halls fill to the brim with students, he hates that how he bumps shoulders and makes eye contact with anyone no matter where he looks, he's so lost in thought the auto pilot takes over and his feet walk him down the path he's walked for the past two years right to the front doors of his high school.

  
Evan almost walks into them, he pushes the doors open and walks the empty halls only passing a few students who are early for clubs and sport team meetings, he doesn't want to talk but the universe has a way of giving him exactly what he doesn't want, "Hey Evan!" The blonde flinches, isn't it to early to be that happy?

  
"H-hey Alana" he stutters can't she tell he doesn't want to talk, he scolds himself, that was rude "How are you?" She asks large smile on his face 'tired, anxious, nervous, love struck' He wants to say "F-fine" he lies "You?" He asks "Great! I'm just doing some student council stuff y'know?"

  
No he does not know because Alana Beck is always doing something in fact Evan thinks she's doing _everything_. He checks the time, 8:37, Shit he has to go print out the letter before the school starts crowding "Sorry, I-I have to g-go A-alana I'll give you t-the pictures at l-lunch" he walks quickly down the hall "Okay, Thank you Evan see you soon!" she shouts and he gives a small wave to signal he heard her

  
He makes it to the computer lab in one piece, logs on to his computer and opens the word document

_Dear Evan Hansen_   
_Today is going to be a good day, you walked to school had a conversation with Alana Beck (It was short but it still happened) and you feel_

  
_great?_

  
No.

  
_And you haven't panicked yet let's keep it that way. You've got English and math than science with Connor after lunch isn't that good?_

  
Evan has nothing left to say so he signs it off with

  
_Sincerely me._

  
He prints it off and listens to the wir wiz of the printer, 8:49, Fucking hell. When the printer finishes he grabs his letter and races to his locker the hallway is more packed than it was before he entered the Computer lab but not enough to walk into people with each step.

  
He walks quickly down hall to his locker eyes catching something in the corner of his vision. He stops, Evan freezes when he passes the music room, Face turning a dark shade of red

  
Connor fucking Murphy

  
He's sitting against the wall on the right of the music room door leaning slightly on a pair of lockers his bag fit snugly between his stomach and knees which are pulled up to his chin, Connor is resting his head on his backpack and his eyes are closed thick purple bags reside under his eyes and if Evan couldn't see his chest rise and fall slowly he would've thought Connor was dead.

  
The brunette was merely asleep but he looked so pale and tired even when resting. Evan felt a hole in chest ache at the sight of Connor in such a fragile state, The blonde wanted to hug the boy but that would be a bad idea instead he runs a hand through his hair pushing it out of his face, a bold move something he would never do if Connor was conscious his brunette locks are soft and Evan smiles as he looks at the time. 9:00 his smile falls, he's screwed.

  
The bell rings the hall fills in a matter of seconds Evan shoots up Connor's eyes fly open Zoe Murphy steps out of the music room "Connor! wakey wa-" She stops The brunette sits up his blue eyes looked dazed and confused "Hey, Evan, right?" he nods quickly Her brother still hasn't grasped the situation and still looks groggy

  
"Fucking..hell? Oh hey...Evan" he yawns and stretches "I've got...class now?" He says sounding disappointed Zoe rolls her eyes "Why are you asking us?" She elbows him "Get going!" he gives her a sleepy smile and a hair ruffle "H-hey Ass hole! I just did my hair..." The sneer dies on her tounge "Idiot, anyway. Evan where are you going?" Evan turns away from Connor's hunched over figure "407, E-english" she laughs "410, chemistry! Let's walk together" Zoe loops their elbows together and skips down the hall way as Evan trails behind her slowly.

  
_Did Connor make it to class okay?_

  
Lunch comes slower than Evan would've liked he sits with Jared as he talks aimlessly about something that Evan doesn't care about and he picks at his unappealing Turkey sandwiches and Luke warm ice tea juice box, Alana sits down with them a few minutes after the bell rings "Hello, Gentleman!" She says with a smile and turns to the blonde "Do you have the camera, Evan?" He nods pulls it from around his neck "G-give it b-back when you're f-finished" she nods excitedly "Thank you! I will" and just like that she's gone

  
Jared is still talking as Evan spots Connor grab a chocolate milk and a ham and cheese sandwich with Zoe, they're talking about something he can't hear and Zoe smirks at him as she goes to sit with her friends and Connor leaves the cafeteria to go to- knowing him- the library   
The blonde stands up "Uh I'll be back Jared" he says doesn't tell him where he's going because the boy will definitely make fun of him for it and walks over to the doors of the cafeteria pushing them open

He wants to talk to Connor again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor was OOC cause he was sleepy I'll put more Jared and Connor in the next chapter 
> 
> Also I can't do sad Murphy siblings okay? They don't talk a lot at home but they love each other a have normal sibling fights


	3. Mario's Vegan bread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared is really bad at Mario carts and Cynthia is so tired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1,073  
> Ugh this took me a while and that part where Connor has his vegan banana bread THREW ME OFF IDK HOW IT'S JUST BANANA BREAD ME

Connor groaned as his alarm blared in his ear, a scowl played on his lips and he reached out and connected his hand with the _snooze_ button with more force than necessary the loud ringing ceasing if only it be for a few moments.

  
He rolled out of his bed onto the cold wood floors of his room wincing when his bruised shoulder hit the floor with a thud The brunette sat in a sitting position legs outstretched in front of him hands at his side, eyes heavy and lifeless because of sleep that had yet to dissipate

  
Connor stood up legs feeling weak and jelly-like, stomach roaring and grumbling with hunger and uneasiness ,as soon as Connor had reached home he had thrown himself into bed to sleep, the fatigue of hockey practice weighing heavily, his blue weary eyes closed as soon as his head connected with his pillow.

  
The male had now been abruptly awakened and had no desire to return to his unconscious state of bliss, he slowly and silently made his way down his stairs mindful to keep silent and avoid drawing attention to himself, lucky for him Zoe was practicing for her band, Larry had nested himself in his office and Cynthia was engrossed in those _"Healthy and delicious vegan meals and happy life choices"_ video but she still turned her head when she heard his light footsteps among the silence.

  
"Connor! Sweetheart!" Cynthia smiled at him lovingly "Hey mom, just going to get something to eat" she nodded "Nothing that will ruin your appetite" she said and slowly turned her eyes back to her laptop,

  
Connor could feel her gaze as he rummaged through the fridge for something to put in his mouth, the brunette noticed Cynthia looked tired, she always did, and it made his heart break and ache. He might not admit it but he knew the kind woman tried hard to keep this family and her marriage together, no matter the fights and threats and problems she kept a brave face, but she was exhausted he could tell and she couldn't hide it as well as she use too.

  
Connor knew it was his fault mostly his anger getting the better of him sometimes and having shout matches with Larry after one of his 'Off comments' about his grades and then he'd come home high as kite after bruising himself tirelessly on the ice. He frowns, he never tells Cynthia how thankful he is and he doesn't know if he ever will

  
The brunette slams the fridge door grabs a plastic cup from the cabinet above and heads back to his reserved bedroom, a slice of Vegan banana bread his mother had gotten in his grasp "Dinner will be in a few hours dear!" Cynthia calls up "Kay!" he responds and shuts his door.

  
Connor places his snack on his bedside table and sits in the black swivel chair, hands folded calmly in his lap eyes wandering around his bare room, he pulls open the last drawer of his desk and reveals a used up pallet of watercolors that had been hiding under a stack of old worn out math textbooks from grade 7 that he had kept for no entire reason at all, and his sketch book that was filled with more doodles than actually full fleshed drawings and paintings and he grabs a recently sharpened pencil from its place in the holder.

  
He jogs to the bathroom to fill up his plastic cup and shuts the door with his foot when he returns, the brunette snatches an elastic to tie his hair back into a disheveled bun that will at least keep a large amount of his brown locks out of his face for him to concentrate.

  
He connects his pencil to the paper and the whole world seems to tune out

  
"Come on! That was a cheap move!" Jared frowns as his character, Luigi, is wrapped in a black goo like substance and is thrown out of control and off course and Evan's character, princess peach, races past him to the going from _2nd_ to _1st_ "That's not fair!" The male blubbers his glasses barely balancing on his nose, eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

  
Princess peach crosses the finish line, the winning anthem plays and makes the blonde smile in victory "That was fun" Evan says quietly grip faltering as he lays the controller on the floor "No!" Jared mumbles "How the hell do you keep winning?! Are you some sort of fucking wizard? That's it, rematch! And your not aloud to be princess peach!"

  
The blonde sighs "Jared this is the fourth rematch, and you've already banned me from Toad, Yoshi _and_ daisy come on, not princess peach" he murmurs "Are you hungry? My mom left some money to order pizza If you want" His friend isn't listening, absorbed by the character selection page and he sighs as he stands up and stretches feeling the tension of sitting on the floor for 2 hours vanish, he reaches for his cell phone to order but his mind stops his movement there is no way he'll order over phone the last time he did that the lady on the other end hung up because she couldn't understand what he was saying through his stuttering.

  
So Evan pulls out his laptop and powers it up opening Google he types _'hopper toppers pizza'_ The boy always thought the was a creative name, but their pizza was good and that's all that matters, he orders online and when he hits order he boots off his computer and places it under his pillow.

  
His thoughts returned to the conversation he had with Connor In the library and his face flushed, they didn't talk about much, just the upcoming science project they had and some good books that Evan had read which he recommended to the brunette "Thinking about your Emo boyfriend again Ev?" Jared mocked lips turned up in a sly smirk. "Your doing that weird spacey smile"

  
Evan's face turned a bright red and he bit his lip "W-W-what?! C-connor isn't m-my b-b-b" he could hardly say the word "Boyfriend" he hissed and the brunette rolled his eyes "Ya right, tree boy, totally"

  
he turned back to the screen and the blonde grabbed his controller from the ground, ready to use his usually dormant passive-aggressiveness to his advantage and annihilate Jared once again in Mario carts.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evan is a passive aggressive bean who loves Connor.  
> Either Jared is really bad at Mario carts or Evan is a God.... or both idfk
> 
> Cynthia is trying guys I love her also I will put more hockey Connor next chapter and I'm planning something special (:<
> 
> Evan's dad still talks to Evan and send presents for Christmas and stuff that's how he got the wii ALSO hoppers toppers pizza was a name i came up with on the spot IT SOUNDED COOL
> 
> also heres my tumblr main https://headphonemaiden.tumblr.com/  
> and my side blog were my writing goes https://writing-trashdump.tumblr.com/


	4. White Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe's can't remember the last time she's acted so hysterically

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOI it's here finally God damn this took a while but longer chapter I guess!! 
> 
> Word count: 1,464
> 
> please read end notes

Connor feels free on the ice.

  
He feels calm and tranquil and even a bit happy, because on the ice he doesn't have to be anything he doesn't have to _do_ anything.

  
He's proud of how he is in the rink or during a game, he doesn't have to think about his shitty life or grades and that untangles the ropes in his mind even just for a moment.

  
Connor's glad, Glad he doesn't have to have to listen to Larry bark and sneer painful words at him or pick at old wounds and mistakes to use in one of their verbal battles.

  
Glad he doesn't have to lie straight to his mother's face by saying school was _'fine mom'_ and _'Yeah I feel great'_ and watch her return with those fake smiles she gives her family because she knows everyone is lying to her face

  
and he's exceptionally thankful he doesn't have to look into Zoe's pity filled eyes when she passes him bandaging his knuckles after punching a wall in a fit of rage or when he comes home high after pushing himself away from the table and out the door to escape a shouting match between his family, he doesn't have to, not when he's skating.

  
He doesn't need anyone, not even his teammates, not anymore

  
Connor has himself and that's all he needs to score the winning goal and make himself proud

  
The brunette pulls the knot tighter on his skate, securing it to his foot leaving it no way to slip off during a game.

  
Again

  
He reaches for his Jersey pulling it from the bench beside him where he had rested it. Connor yanks it over his head like he's done so many times before and sits back as he waits for the stadium to fill with people, he sighs and scans the still empty rink.

  
It's still early so he's not surprised that there's hardly anyone there yet, his blue eyes stop for a moment in surprise, then slight humour before embarrassment as he spots Alana beck.

  
She's sitting near the back of the stadium Her arms are outstretched above her head and she's throwing them back and forth in a brandishing manner, Her smile is so big and bright Connor feels like squinting.

  
Beside her in a slightly hunched posture sits Evan Hansen, the brunette remembers him, Evan recommend the book _Wonder_ and _the fault in our stars_ to him and surprisingly he was enjoying both, The blonde was quiet and shy he also knew a lot about tree's which Connor thought was a cute quirk.

  
The brunette offered the pair a small hand wave ceasing Alana sporadic arm waving and he was given a small smile from Evan and Connor didn't know what it was but he felt his heart beat a bit faster

 

 

 

Connor spotted Zoe right before the game started she's sitting with a Alana and she seemed to be giggling quite a bit her face a bright shade of red, she throws him a thumbs up and he smirks back fixing his helmet over his face.

  
The referee drops the puck between him and the other player, he didn't bother to see who he was up against because what did it matter? He widens his posture bends a bit further down and takes a breath, he blocks out the yelling and the cheering, beads of sweat form on his brow

  
_Focus_

The whistle blows.

  
Connor's reflexes move quickly arms pushing his hockey stick outwards, trying to pull the puck inward, their two sticks bang against each other as the fight for the black disk begins and soon enough the brunette take off like a rocket with it.  
He swerves and turns as he races for the goal, a red Jersey slides in front of him just as he's about to take a shot, he's been blocked.

  
Fuck

  
Connor scans for an open player and quickly passes it to Jersey 49, the crowd is roaring and chanting and he bits his lip, he places himself close to the net waiting to receive the puck and put the team a goal ahead.

  
The black rubber disk launches toward him, the brunette catches it and maneuvers his body to make the shot, he raises his stick, only centimeters from making contact with the puck when a sharp white pain bolts up his right shoulder and sends him tumbling towards the wall with enough force to knock him wind-less, the crowd gasps.

  
Connor feels his head spin, mind numbing pain runs all over his body but he doesn't have the strength to groan or even move, the energy and adrenaline that fueled him early has dissipated suddenly leaving only pure agony in its wake.

  
His vision wavers and he hears the faint sound of a whistle but he can't seem to muster the strength to move.

  
So he doesn't and he lays there.

 

 

 

  
Zoe hadn't really been paying attention to the game, she wasn't a hockey person or a sports person in general, besides the occasional Soccer or baseball games her father forced her to watch from time to time, so she was more engrossed in the cute school council president than the sweaty guys on the boys hockey team.

Not that she was completely disregarding of her brother currently bolting on the ice, it was just this was a once-in-a-lifetime experience and she was definitely hitting it off pretty well with the darker skinned girl

  
Well she was, until the crowd went practically silent and Alana looked shell shocked and frozen, even Evan had his hands clasped over his mouth in horror and his eyes were wide, she was momentarily confused, was it something she said? It was only when Zoe turned towards the ice rink she found her answer.

  
There, sprawled out on the ice is Number 27

  
_Connor, that's her brother_

  
She freezes, he's not moving, her breathing gets quicker, is he even breathing? her heart is drumming in her chest fear takes over Zoe is panicking, is that...

  
Blood?

  
Before she even realizes she's bolting towards the ice rink, trying not to trip over her own two feet as she dashes toward her brother.

  
"Ma'am! We can't let you on the ice, step back!" The older man put the arm out in front of her when she gets to the gate and she growls "NO! STOP! HE'S MY BROTHER!" She's screaming and Connor still not moving as they call the stretcher to move him off the ice paramedics rushing onto the scene.

  
"Ma'am, we assure you, he'll be fine and you can accompany him in the ambulance!"

_Ambulance?_

  
She's about to bite him, she's so close "Zoe!" The girl almost doesn't hear her name, Zoe turns to see Alana and Evan, sprinting after her.

  
"You can't be on the ice!" The guard sounds impatient. "Unless one of you kids are a doctor?" This is where Alana huffs crosses her arms and clears her throat "Well.." she starts "If you count 62 hours of hospital work and a father that know each and every medical procedure like the back of his hand, then I guess you could say you've got doctor right here!" Zoe didn't know if that was truly supposed to work or if it was a carefully thought out distraction, but it succeed and The girl used his moment of bewilderment to her advantage and pushed past his loosely hanging arm to her brother.

  
She sprints and almost slips a few times before sliding on her knees to the stretcher they were placing her brother on  
"Connor?!" she pants breathlessly eyes burning with un-shed tears, his face contorts into a grimace and he groans trying to roll on his side but the paramedics keep firm hands on his wrists.

  
She calls out to him again but she only receives another agonized moan which makes her flinch, she's never seen Connor in such a weak state

  
"Escorts her back into the bleachers!" The woman yells to someone and Zoe is taken by the arm kicking and screaming and sat right back down beside Alana and Evan, she feels like crying but she doesn't so she digs her nails into her palm instead. She can't remember the last time she's acted so hysterically

Alana rubs soothing circles on her back "He'll be alright, Hockey accidents all time" Zoe nods, she knows that but it's those hockey accidents that put player s out of commission

  
Or worse

  
She shakes her head Connor is going to be fine, yes he will

  
She hopes. Zoe pulls out her phone and dials the only number she can at the moment, it rings for a few seconds before a voice answers on the end of the line

"Hello?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit FINALLY Idk what took this chapter so long but it took to long this was supposed to be out TWO FUCKING DAYS AGO I just didn't like how the second part (Zoe's pov) was looking so I kept deleting and rewriting plus the procrastination so that might explain it BUT I'm not making excuses okay and this story is going to wait semi-hiatuas I guess so I can focus on my writing request fic where I take your requests and write them! So go there put one down and well let's see!! I'll probably write it! Lol


	5. Fall of knowledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goddammit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shitiest chapter and in so sorry also the shortest so I'm gonna make it a filler chapter

The last time Cynthia had been in a hospital was when Zoe was 6, She had been playing on top of the slide as a dare with her friends when her foot slipped and she fell to the wood chips below, she had ended up with a broken arm and a few scratches here and there but nothing serious. Cynthia knew that in her time as a parent she'd need to go to the Hospital a few times for sure but the woman never thought it'd be for something so extreme.

  
She knew hockey was a dangerous sport and she knew what Connor was putting himself up for when he joined the team, she should have pushed a harder, convinced him to change his mind to do something-anything- else but....

  
Here she was in a hospital waiting room as the doctor listed of the injuries her son had sustained from his rather hard collision.   
_ Concussion _

_  
_ _ Dislocated shoulder _

_  
_ _ Fractured clavicle _

_  
_ _ Hip pointer _

  
It made the woman sick, half of the things the doctor was saying she couldn't understand, not that she didn't know what those were, it was the fact that she did and that made her nauseous she knew these injuries, she knew the pain her son was in, and she didn't want to keep listening she just wanted the doctor to shut up

  
"Can I-I need to see my son" she said through watery eyes the doctor looked at her pitifully but shook her head slowly "We apologize Ma'am but we don't think he's in any condition to have visito-" "BUT I'M NOT A VISITOR!" The woman exploded. Zoe who had also been tuned out was jumped back into reality at the sudden outburst and Larry who had sat quietly on the sidelines put a hand on his wife's back "Cynthia..." he murmured.

  
"I need to see him! Don't you understand?! Do you have a child?! Do you know how it feels to sit in the dark while your child is an hospital room suffering from pain unimaginable?! Well! DO YOU?! He needs me! Connor needs his mother! Please....he needs me"

  
She threw a hand over her mouth to muffle the chest shaking sobs that brought her too her knees, she didn't know why she was crying so much, or maybe she did. These were injuries that people got and overcame in weeks, months, maybe even years but this could have should have been avoided this should never have happened to her son if Cynthia had just been there for Connor helped him done something anything.

  
Cynthia swallowed the lump in her throat and tamed her messy red hair out of her face "Sorry" she apologized "I just.." The doctor put a hand on her shoulder "I'm sorry, I understand I'll see what I can do" she smiled kindly before turning a walking away.

  


The woman sighed and rubbed her temples, She's so tired, she just wants things to be better, she just wants Connor to be better

  
  
  
  


Evan can't describe the way he felt when Connor crashed in the ice, he could, but then he'd vomit and in a time like this they didn't need that, he wished be could be at the hospital but Zoe (and alana) agreed it would be beneficial if He went home and he didn't want to disagree and cause anymore trouble, Zoe said she would keep him up to date on Connors condition but Evan said she shouldn't worry herself and focus on her brother.

  


The boy ignored the nagging feeling of uncertainty in his gut and nibbled on the leftover spring roll from last nights movie marathon with Jared. Evan resisted the urge to bite at his already chewed of nails instead ran his sweaty hands against his polo.

  


The blonde juggled the idea of calling the girl to ask how Connor was even though it had only been a few hours since he saw him, but he decided against it. Zoe didn't need to be bothered especially in a time like this

  


Evan rubbed his eyes. Dammit. The stress he had put himself under was taking a role on his mind, he wanted to sleep but he knew once he got into bed he wouldn't be able to 

  


His phone vibrated in his hand, it was Zoe, He frantically reached for his cell “H-hello?” he was trying to sound calm his head was spinning with possible things that Zoe would say. “Hey Evan! I just called to tell you…” she yawned “Connors fine and you should sleep cause I know your gonna stay up worrying. Don't do that” he could almost see her shoulders slump “It's not good for you” he didn't respond the blonde just nodded “Anyway sleep tight Evan” she said, and the line went dead.

  


No matter how much Evan wanted to listen to Zoe he knew there'd be no sleeping tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddammit so....Ya happy new year merry Christmas um no excuse this chapter was boring and shifty and I didn't know what to do this story ain't over and I'm gonna finish it. it will be easier from here on out (I hope) also I was playing Mystic messenger, heard of it? I wanna start writing for it


End file.
